In Pericles' funeral oration, he says, "for a man's counsel cannot have equal weight or worth when he alone has no children to risk in the general danger."
Once many of our leaders were also military parents, just prior to this last election only 30 percent of the 535 members of congress had a military background. This number is down from 1969 when more than two-thirds had served. Of the 535 members of Congress, at least seven have a great personal interest: They have children in the military that already are participating in the war or could be called to do so. Perhaps this is why some of our elected representatives voted for the war then voted against funding that war, they have nothing personally invested. Unlike a sporting event where there are umpires, coaches, halftimes and recesses, war is such a brutal affair that once started is uncontrollable by anything but one side prevailing over the other.
With that in mind we expect our service personnel to voluntarily enter military service, fight our wars, sacrifice their youth, time, health and even their lives so we can securely enjoy the benefits of a free country and society. What do we offer them in return? Shabby treatment, hostility and disrespect, all because they believe in protecting this nation and it's values.
Half this nations citizens look down on military members with disdain if not outright hatred, cities near military bases treat uniformed people with hostility yet greedily welcome their money, the other half of this nation is ambivalent. When it come to a death in the military community, they rally to help, knowing they could be next to experience the tragic loss. Outside the military such a death affects the immediate family while the community at large couldn't care less. Their survivor's rate even less notice, no security or future hopes for success - simply forgotten.
On September 11, 2001, this nation was directly attacked by Muslim fanatics, not for the first time, but the most visual, with 3000 deaths. This nation rallied, demanding retribution, in the warm afterglow of patriotism they also allowed for death benefits and allowances to be paid to the survivors of this vicious attack. While noble in cause these payments were for what? Showing up for work on an otherwise normal day in an otherwise normal work environment, not expecting to be exposed to extreme danger, much less facing eminent death.
Yet our service personnel face these dangers every day, many die in training, many are maimed for life in battle, many are killed, and some are missing in action - lost forever! Their survivors never receive the treatment that those survivors of 9-11 received, shouldn't their spouses and children receive survivor benefits that are on parity with their civilian counterparts? Military families suffer the privations of their servicemember, isolation from family members, constant changes, substandard incomes, making new friends at every move, disrupted school schedules not to mention the stress of wartime service.
A Fathers Farewell brings this home: My son, the soldier, comes home for good.
At last report he had left Iraq and was waiting a flight in Kuwait. With luck he will be in Germany today and then on to Texas. By the way, he is called "remains" but I know better. He is my son.
I want to tell you about him. Not because he is so great a guy - although I think so, but because he represents the thousands of sons and daughters America is sending to far away places to secure our peace and our liberties at home.
Captain Sean Patrick Sims, commanding officer of A Company, 2-2 BN, 1st Infantry Division, was killed in action Nov. 13 in Fallujah, Iraq while clearing insurgent occupied buildings. A tough assignment, clearing an urban area. Dirty, dangerous work. Sean lost his executive officer the day before and I read of the deaths of two Marine Captains who were similarly killed in Fallujah.
It is sad when a father must write his own son's obituary. I don't know what to say. My son, like others falling in that conflict, was a hero who believed in his mission, his unit, and his men. He also believed leaders should be in the front, leading, not following. And that is how he died. He was well liked and respected by his superiors and the men in his company, who sensed his concern for their well being. He was also concerned about the well being of the Iraqi people and did his utmost to guard them from harm.
Sean was a devout catholic, who lived the tenets of his faith on a daily basis. There is no doubt in our minds that Sean is now in heaven and in the hands of our Lord. We grieve for his loss, which is our loss, but not for his soul. If anything, we ask his intercession on our behalf as he is now much better placed for that effort.
I don't know what to say or how to describe the sacrifice of your blood for this country. Having served in Vietnam, twice, having a father who spent 36 years as a soldier through two wars, and a brother who served in Vietnam twice and is now 100% disabled from his injuries there, I am encouraged by the awareness of our countrymen for the sacrifices of our children. I am thankful for the realization by our citizenry that freedom is not free.
My son was not a rampant political supporter for any party, although he was probably more Republican by instinct. But he did have an abiding trust and belief in the United States of America. He felt we are a moral nation, steadfast in our principles; this nation does not take its commitment of its sons and daughters to war lightly. But unlike many nations in the world, we do not shirk our duties to commit our blood to just and necessary causes. Because that is what keeps us free.
I think he understood something, which seems to have been lost in the debates over weapons of mass destruction and poor intelligence estimates in this particular war. That is that sovereign nations must be held accountable for their actions. We cannot tolerate nations that hide behind borders and provide support to enemies who are intent on our destruction. We can debate on how this war developed and was executed. It can not be debated that nations now look carefully at their responsibility and accountability before providing such support. America has made its statement. If you support terrorism, we will find you and destroy you, whatever the cost.
My son understood this and believed what he was doing was right. But he also believed that you can't go in and destroy a country and walk away. He was anxious for the insurgents to be quickly defeated so we could start the nation building that Iraq so sorely needs. He chafed at the delays and the debates in implementing aid. He was not a romantic. He understood well the backwardness of the country, the strangle hold of its religion and more challengingly, the social and political pressure of the tribal system. They all looked insurmountable when you add them up. But he had been raised in a tradition of grit and putting one foot forward at a time, so he was not deterred by the challenge. He was faced with a difficult, dirty and seemingly impossible task, but his response was not how do I get out of it but how do I get it done.
I think his sacrifice to his nation can best be summed up in a message I received from a friend expressing condolences for his loss: "His sacrifice was made to keep my family, my sons and my grandchildren as well as all Americans safe and free and for that we will eternally be grateful." That's nice. My son would agree. That's what he thought he was doing.
In retrospect, the true hero here is his wife, who is left a young widow with a young son to raise. She is a woman of grace, and grit. She will do well by her son and her warrior husband.
Tom Sims (COL, US Army Retired)Hat tip and thanks to Mamamontezz for posting this too.
Caring For Those Left Behind
By Frank Schaeffer
Friday November 19, 2004
[...]
"What keeps me up at night is thinking you may never know what you mean to me. . . . If I don't come home, please tell Brianna that her daddy loves her more than life. . . . Brianna, it breaks my heart to have to miss your first birthday. I hope that you will forgive me. . . . I fall asleep every night with visions of you and your mommy in my head, reminding me of all I have been blessed with. I will be with you every day, if not in body, then in spirit. I love you more than my words could ever say."
[Marine Staff Sgt. Aaron White] was killed two days after Brianna turned 1. When an American in a military uniform is killed his or her family receives a one-time death gratuity of $12,000. The surviving family may also qualify for the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP), which is paid up to age 62 or until the spouse remarries. The SBP benefit amounts to 55 percent of the soldier's retirement pay; pay that is already so low it qualifies many military families for food stamps.
These "benefits" are contingent on fulfilling many petty regulations. Michele did not qualify for the SBP because Aaron was in the Marine Corps just under 10 years. Several further benefits, such as the income-based Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC), may pay out about $800 per month and $200 per child, depending on the case. Michele did not qualify because of several arcane technicalities. Michele and Brianna's medical benefits will end three years from the date of Aaron's death. But Michele did receive some modest insurance compensation, because Aaron paid for coverage out of his meager salary.
Let's strip away our yellow-ribbon sentimentality for a moment and admit the truth: We treat our military like second-class citizens. I'm glad the Sept. 11 families were generously compensated, but it's time to ask why the family of someone who has done no more for his country than show up at a stock trading office on the wrong day should receive hundreds of times as much compensation as the family of a soldier who volunteered to leave his wife and child to defend the rest of us.
[...]
In his second-to-last letter home Aaron wrote: "Believe me I am not having a good time here. This is an ugly hasty land. I hope [our] people appreciate the blood we are to spill." Judging by how we are taking care of his widow and daughter, apparently the answer is that we do not.
A comment from the author via private channels:
Some people felt that I have underrepresented what the government does to compensate families who lose loved ones KIA. So I want to note again that a military man or woman may purchase (out of their own pay) life insurance coverage up to 250 thousand at a good rate. However this should NOT be confused with a grateful nation doing the right thing by our brave troops. Moreover 250 thousand is scarcely a lot of money when you lose a husband or wife and are raising a family! Compare this to how even car crash victims are compensated. And this is a long way from how the wealthy banker's families were compensated after 9/11. And note all veterans benefits come attached! to a nightmare of red tape. This situation would always be terrible but now that the most wealthy American have more or less opted out of serving it is indeed a scandal.
[...]
If you wish to pass this on to a friend or if you have a publication you have my permission in advance to republish or copy this to others.
Best wishes for a good Thanksgiving,
Frank Schaeffer
Bill Faith posted Caring for Those Left Behind here is an excerpt from it:GOD DAMN IT TO HELL, PEOPLE! Is this what our Warriors deserve? Is this how we reward an all volunteer force? Don't the men and women dying for our country deserve to at least know their loved ones will be taken care of? Who's going to help me make some noise about this? Here's the least that I'll be happy with, and I don't care which side of the aisle it come from. Hell, I could end up voting for a Democrat next time if they do what's right here. I want full pay and benefits continued to surviving spouses for life, or to their surviving children until they're 21, whichever comes last. Brianna does not deserve to wear second-hand clothes because her Daddy gave his all for his country. Brianna's mother does not deserve to have to go husband-hunting because that's the only way she can support Brianna. Damn it! DAMN IT!
I'm going to push this one people, and keep pushing it. I don't know how, but I am. Brianna, you can take that as a promise. I'm not in a lot of important Rolodex's, but I do have some valuable email addresses, and I know a little about "networking", and I am heap highly pissed. I want a "Brianna" bill passed in the next Congress. Republicans: Help me because it's the right thing to do. Democrats: Help me because it will make going to war more expensive. Just help me.
Well Bill, you and I see this issue alike.
How about it, let's give these people a break too, their families are permanently broken, just like those survivors of the World Trade Center, The Pentagon and that Pennsylvania farm field.
Call or write that representative.